When growing up, the background of my home life was Court TV. My mother, a stay-at-home mom, made the beds, cleaned the kitchen, folded the laundry, walked the dog – all to the sound of cross-examinations and objections. I was just 10 years old when I vividly watched the trial of Scott Peterson, in 2004. This was the beginning of my fascination with the complexities of the human mind and behaviors. 

 

On long road trips, staring out the car window, I’d peer into neighboring cars; I’d scan inside homes, lit-up in the dark. Looking at stranger’s expressions or the color of their curtains, I found escape in wondering about the stories unfolding behind each car or home window. My innate curiosity of people led me to devour books on complex subjects, whether the story of Sybil with 16 different personalities or the history of U.S. assassins. When at the shopping mall, I was so engrossed in these stories that I’d walk while reading, looking down at my book while simultaneously making sure I didn’t trip over anything. My Nana, a rather expressionless woman, smiled everytime.

 

After being diagnosed with a chronic illness that kept me out of school, I became entrenched in internet watchdog groups. I learned all about cybercrimes against children. While these interests may’ve seemed odd at the time, it only further solidified my drive in understanding humanity’s underbelly and my determination to bring certain topics to light. 

 

By the time I went to college, I originally aimed to receive a degree in journalism, born out of my desire to tell others’ stories. During my studies, it became apparent that we’d be spending more time learning the reporting basics (“the 5 Ws and an H”). It was here that I switched majors to Literature. It felt like it’d be my only chance in life to spend uninterrupted time understanding the feelings, secrets, pains, passions, wishes, and hopes of others. I say “only chance,” because it didn’t seem like hearing and understanding people’s stories was a job. Mastering skills in literary and comparative analysis, research, and writing provided me with a foundation that my twenties was built upon.

 

Hopping around jobs in my early adulthood, nothing felt quite right when it came to a career. One theme emerged—the profound impact of relationships. Colleagues always commended my ability to put heart into every interaction, and my natural inclination toward emotional support roles. I found myself as a mentor to new hires and a confidant to C-level executives under immense stress. I spent the last four years at Purpose, an agency that focuses on creating narrative change when it comes to social impact issues. 

 

Despite my affinity for understanding others, I endured a lingering sense of self-alienation and aimlessness. It persisted until the age of 27, when I began a transformative journey with a counselor. Witnessing my therapist's radical  vulnerability and insight was a turning point that illuminated the hinderings of my own self-understanding throughout my life. It was through this personal alchemy that I realized I was given the gift of pain for transmutation. It revealed the clarity of my purpose, which is helping others understand themselves, and create what it is that they want to create: a life, a project, a dream, a new way of thinking. 

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As for my dream, it is to gain acceptance into a graduate program for Mental Health Counseling. I acknowledge how much commitment, time, and determination such a goal takes. My independent research has sparked a thirst for structured learning, mentorship, and the opportunity to engage with like-minded peers and professors who share my passion for making an impact. Already engrossed in a personal exploration of the unconscious mind, reading the works of influential figures such as Otto Kernberg, Milton H. Erickson, and Virginia Satir have only solidified my resolve to pursue a Master's in Mental Health Counseling. After obtaining licensure, I aim to accumulate real-life experience working with the general populations in hospitals. Based on these experiences, I aspire to pursue independent research and contribute to the field, with a focus in complex trauma and grief.

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Through therapy’s symbiotic process within a structured space—a safe therapeutic alliance— I actually felt seen and understood for the first time in my life. While people have always fascinated me, and the career track of a “therapist” seems like a natural transition, it wasn’t so apparent to me—at least not right away. Trauma, chronic illness, constraints imposed by systems like capitalism: these are just some of the powerful yet inevitable adversaries that we all must face in life. And these adversaries significantly impact one’s direction in life. Despite the uncertainty, I recognize the potential for growth, both for myself and my future clients. While I cannot dismantle the largest intersectional structures of oppression, I can create a safe space for my clients to explore self-discovery, self-love, and self-actualization. Because such explorations are some of the most powerful and challenging journeys one can seek in a lifetime. 

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Pursuing acceptance into a Mental Health Counseling graduate program is not just a career change; it's a calling to contribute meaningfully to the lives of those in need. I am eager to learn as much as I can – as I’ve spent my entire life doing.  The structured learning environment that a graduate program offers, as well as the invaluable access to resources, guidance, and experiences, will allow me to refine my skills and fulfill my calling.